Communication is wobbly when we’re top heavy

We’ve all experienced a time when communication doesn’t go as planned and it seems as though we’ve lost our balance and flopped over. I have some insights to share about why we become wobbly, why we flop, and most importantly, how to flip ourselves when we’ve flopped in order to communicate more effectively.

Consider an argument you had that escalated and resulted in frustration. It might have occurred with your spouse, child, boss, friend… Were you caught up in over thinking, ruminating, or worrying? Chances are that if you were, your focus was too much in your head space, and not enough in your body space which can create communication flops because we’re like an upside-down triangle trying to balance. We’ve all experienced a time when communication doesn’t go as planned and it seems as though we’ve lost our balance and flopped over. I have some insights to share about why we become wobbly, why we flop, and most importantly, how to flip ourselves when we’ve flopped in order to communicate more effectively.

Consider an argument you had that escalated and resulted in frustration. It might have occurred with your spouse, child, boss, friend… Were you caught up in over thinking, ruminating, or worrying? Chances are that if you were, your focus was too much in your head space, and not enough in your body space which can create communication flops because we’re like an upside-down triangle trying to balance.

Over thinking, ruminating and worrying are some of the top reasons why we become wobbly and start to fumble in a conversation. If we catch those thinking patterns soon enough, we can often stabilize and move forward relatively quickly; however, if let those thinking patterns continue to cycle, then we begin to compound the presenting communication challenge. Most of us would like to think we can easily catch ourselves, but as simple as it sounds, it’s not always easy and here are some reasons why you might get stuck in your head space:

1. You don’t like the way the conversation is going and think you aren’t being heard
2. You’re triggered by what’s being said and have a sense you’ve lost control
3. You have no patience left to carry on the conversation

When we communicate only from our head space, it’s difficult for us to be open and objective because we’re filtering out important information that comes from our body space. Consider the first example above, if I start ruminating about how much I don’t like a conversation and blame the other person for not listening to me, the likely outcome is a head-to-head combat. Flop!

One of the most effective ways to flip your flop is to get into your body space and it all starts with taking a few deep breaths. After that, scan your body from head to toe and notice how you’re feeling. Do you have a backache or headache that’s creating discomfort? Are you feeling tired or hungry? Is there an area of your body that needs your attention so that you feel more connected and grounded? Click here for a link to a ten-minute body scan I recorded for clients.

I’ve personally found these insights helpful and am curious to hear your thoughts. I invite you to dedicate some time this month to explore when you flip flop. What are your warning signs? Can you identify any patterns of situations that trigger you and throw you off balance?

Thank you for reading and I wish you a month of improved stability and effective communication.

Sincerely,

Amber