{"id":179,"date":"2018-10-23T17:01:28","date_gmt":"2018-10-23T17:01:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coachambermcauley.com\/?p=179"},"modified":"2023-11-22T13:43:53","modified_gmt":"2023-11-22T13:43:53","slug":"jungle-love-and-communication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coachambermcauley.com\/2018\/10\/23\/jungle-love-and-communication\/","title":{"rendered":"Jungle Love and Communication"},"content":{"rendered":"
How do you \u201ccall back\u201d your partner when you\u2019ve lost connection?<\/p>\n
I recently had an experience with my spouse Gord that brought some clarity on the things we do well, and the things we\u2019re still learning about. The circumstance reminded me of an old Zen story about being lost in the jungle.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s as though Gord and I are on a path together in the jungles of life and, although we do our best to plan and organize our navigations, sometimes we get off track. In a recent argument, we disconnected and went off in different directions which created an emotional disconnection. It felt as though we went off our jungle life path and, for a period of time, I felt disoriented and lonely.<\/p>\n
Because of this situation, I discovered a few interesting things about our relationship. For one, Gord and I have done well by communicating specific ways we can \u201ccall back\u201d one another when we\u2019re emotionally distant. It works in an analogous way as how birds call out to others so they can connect. For us, a call back can be as simple as initiating a hug, even if we don\u2019t talk, a hug can be an effective way to bond after being in conflict. Secondly, I realize that when we go off in our own directions one of us often discovers something new that adds value to our relationship. For example, I explored some new behaviours. Even though I was tempted to fall back into old patterns of being stubborn and resistant, which would compound the distance, I chose to smile, soften my body language and be open to hearing his perspective.<\/p>\n
Those are the highlights of things we\u2019re doing well. What we\u2019re still working on is a pattern that feeds our disconnection and I can relate it to Froma Walsh\u2019s three ideas that get overlooked when we face challenges in communication with family. The ideas are; clarity, open emotional sharing, and collaborative problem solving.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s a summary of how it relates to my patterns with Gord, perhaps you can relate.<\/p>\n