I recently drove three hours with the intention of spending five minutes visiting my grandfather who\u2019s in the hospital because he had a fall, then a heart attack, and is now very fragile. My father has been encouraging family to\u00a0visit so I decided to go\u00a0as a way of supporting him.<\/p>\n
A five-minute visit\u00a0seemed\u00a0sufficient enough because I\u2019ve never felt close to my grandfather, we didn\u2019t have what I consider a strong bond or connection. I would see him at the odd family dinner and we\u2019d chat about the weather and how much my daughter had grown since the last time we saw each other\u2026 I thought our conversations were superficial, but it didn\u2019t bother me to not feel close with him and I accepted our relationship for what it was.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s all in the past now. My intended five-minute visit turned into almost two hours and I could have stayed by his side for days. It was the first time we\u2019d ever been alone together and I discovered a love for him that I\u2019ve never felt for anyone. When I held his hand, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and quivering lips, he said \u201cI feel weepy. I love you so much Amber and I\u2019ve been watching and admiring you from a distance all these years.\u201d<\/p>\n
I noticed he had a copy of my published workbook beside his bed. I had no clue he knew I wrote a book, and didn\u2019t think that if he did, he would read it. Let alone thank me for writing it, hummm???<\/p>\n
My grandfather is an exceptionally intelligent and philosophical man who I assumed would never be interested in reading about my simple reflections on effective communication, in fact I always perceived him as chauvinistic.<\/p>\n
That day, I saw a man with absolute compassion and humility. Our visit ended with giggles while he gave me wet grandpa kisses on the cheek. It was the first time I felt the sweet grandfatherly love I\u2019d only heard about up to that moment.<\/p>\n
There are times when we need to set boundaries and distance ourselves from family to take care of ourselves; I encourage it and put it into practice with my own family. It can be difficult to take space, however, as I process the dynamic that created the space I feel more grounded over time and more open to possibilities of building a stronger family unit when the time is ripe \u2013 as it was with my grandfather.<\/p>\n
I invite you to explore how you process your family dynamics. Are you experiencing a sense of feeling estranged, resentful, bitter, or unforgiving? If so, I suggest you reach out for professional support because when we stew in these emotions it can create more challenges for us and often leads to high levels of stress that can cause health problems.<\/p>\n
The sooner we support ourselves, and each other, to navigate the inevitable challenges within our family, the sooner we can build stronger communities.<\/p>\n
I would be delighted to hear from you any insights from your own experience with family dynamics, please send me a message by email coachambermcauley@gmail.com<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
All my best,<\/p>\n
Amber<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I recently drove three hours with the intention of spending five minutes visiting my grandfather who\u2019s in the hospital because he had a fall, then a heart attack, and is now very fragile. My father has been encouraging family to\u00a0visit so I decided to go\u00a0as a way of supporting him. A five-minute visit\u00a0seemed\u00a0sufficient enough because I\u2019ve never felt close to my grandfather, we didn\u2019t have what I consider a strong <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n